Brittni Shenefield
With my daughter only being five, she got on Safari and just found like basic YouTube all by herself and then somehow screencast it onto our TV. And then when I walked out to the living room, I was like, oh, we got to do something about this.

Laura Seney
Welcome to Connected Conversations, the official podcast of Kosciusko Connect. Kosciusko Connect is a subsidiary of Kosciusko REMC. Since 2021, we have been providing fast, reliable fiber to the home internet service to rural portions of Northern Indiana. On Connected Conversations, we talk about fiber, internet technology, community and how to navigate the digital world in which we live. I am your host, Laura Seney. Thank you for connecting with us today.

Laura Seney
Hello, everyone, and welcome to another episode of Connected Conversations. Today we are going to be talking about when and how to set screen time limits and boundaries on technology with your kids. Our guest today is Brittany Shenfield, Customer Experience Specialist here at Kosciusko Connect and also a mom. Hi Brittany, how are you doing today?

Brittni Shenefield
Hi. I'm good. Thanks for having me.

Laura Seney
Yeah. Glad you could come and talk today. What are your responsibilities here at Kosciusko Connect?

Brittni Shenefield
So I take care of all of our residential fiber internet customers. So on a day to day basis, just as they call in, we take care of things for them.

Laura Seney
Awesome. How many kids do you have and what are their ages?

Brittni Shenefield
I have one daughter and she is five years old.

Laura Seney
How do you personally think about technology in your family?

Brittni Shenefield
Since I do have a younger child, I am very selective about technology in our home.

Laura Seney
That makes sense because there are lots of questionable things out there you don't want your kid to see.

Brittni Shenefield
Yes, absolutely.

Laura Seney
What rules are boundaries do you have with technology for your kid?

Brittni Shenefield
With my daughter only being five, we have a lot of permissions set up on our devices as well as screen time rules. After school, she usually plays on her iPad to like dinner time and then screen time rules kick in and it will ask my phone for permission. If she tries to access like an app outside of those screen time rules. Sometimes we're more lenient, but for the most part, those rules are pretty solid.

Laura Seney
That makes sense. It's good to have firm structure so kids know what is expected. When did you realize you needed these rules or boundaries?

Brittni Shenefield
My daughter, originally her iPad was mine, and then she kind of started gravitating towards it and using it. She got on Safari and just found like basic YouTube all by herself and then somehow screencast today onto our TV. And before that she just played like games and watched Peppa Pig on her iPad. And then when I walked out to the living room and saw her iPad screen casted on the TV, I was like, well, we got to do something about this.

Laura Seney
It's amazing how fast kids can pick up and like, learn technology. Like, it's just incredible how fast they learn these things.

Brittni Shenefield
I didn't even know our TV could do that. I was in shock.

Laura Seney
Yep. Do these rules and boundaries need adjusting over time?

Brittni Shenefield
I feel like I'm constantly changing the rules and adjusting as technology also changes and she learns more about it. And as she gets a little bit older and she learns more apps and like the other day, she came home and asked if she can have Roblox. And I said, absolutely not, because you're five years old. And like, now that she's in school, she's having friends and stuff who also, you know, maybe they have different sets of rules than we do. So she's asking about all these games and stuff. So yeah, it's constantly changing.

Laura Seney
That makes sense. As kids grow up, they naturally need more or less freedom on these things.

Brittni Shenefield
Yes.

Laura Seney
What values guide your decisions around screen time?

Brittni Shenefield
Again, with her only being five. I feel screen time should be very limited personally in our household. I just value her being a child and using her imagination rather than playing like video games or watching content. Again, to each their own in each household, but I would just rather have her off of devices than on it more.

Laura Seney
That makes sense. It's important kids at that age learn to make friendships and talk to people and have creative play time. Do you use any tools or settings to help manage screen time?

Brittni Shenefield
So on our like TV to access like YouTube and stuff because that's like one of the biggest ones. I don't really care for her to be on. We have like a password that she has to type in to access it, which she doesn't know the password. And then we have like Apple devices. So when she uses her iPad, if she gets on her iPad outside of set times, it sends a notification to my phone and I can block it or like, turn the internet off on her device or whatever. Just to kind of help out.

Laura Seney
That makes sense. What different devices is your daughter allowed to have?

Brittni Shenefield
Right now, just at home, she can have her iPad and then sometimes she gets like TV time on certain apps.

Laura Seney
That makes sense. Have you had to deal with her coming home and asking for a phone yet?

Brittni Shenefield
Yes. And she always ask how long until she can have a phone. And we're like middle school. Like when you start sports or staying after school for activities. So like, I don't know, 11, 12 like that age frame. But it's hard when she comes home and like other kindergartners have cell phones and she doesn't understand why she can't have a cell phone. I tell her like her iPad's the same thing.

Laura Seney
Yeah, we get that question a lot at home.

Brittni Shenefield
Yes.

Laura Seney
When can I get a phone?

Brittni Shenefield
Yeah. And like, your iPad does the same exact thing, girlfriend.

Laura Seney
Yep. Exactly. How do you explain screen time limits to your kids in a way that they can understand?

Brittni Shenefield
I just explained to her that being on your device all day isn't healthy, and playing use your imagination is just a better use of time. We have a lot of like neighborhood kids that come over, so you know, after school there's not really a reason to be on your device. I understand, like, sometimes you'll come home and she'll be tired and she just wants downtime, wants to lay in bed and watch your iPad. Totally okay with that. But on a day to day basis, I would just prefer her to, you know, play like a kid.

Laura Seney
It makes sense. What has worked well and what has totally flopped?

Brittni Shenefield
No screen time before bed. I'm definitely not a doctor, by no means. But by limiting her screen time before bed, I started to notice, like, less tantrums. What totally flopped was when we didn't have these set boundaries and rules that just made bedtime extremely difficult. She wanted to stay up and watch her iPad or TV, and now she sleeps in complete darkness with a fan and she doesn't need any devices going.

Laura Seney
Yes. Avoiding the bedtime battle over an iPad is an improvement. Any advice for handling meltdowns over screentime rules?

Brittni Shenefield
The best advice? I mean, tantrums are never fun to deal with, but, the best advice I can give is to explain during the tantrum that this exact scenario is why we have these rules. Because when you have watch Screen Time all day and now we're taking it away from you and you're crying. This is why we're taking it away is due to how you're acting after the screen time.

Laura Seney
Yeah, that makes sense. How do you think these rules will change as your kids get older? And you've talked about that a little bit. You know, in middle school they'll get a phone. And as they get older they get more freedom.

Brittni Shenefield
As my child gets older and the rules will get more lenient. However, with internet continued to evolve like it has and they just have more access to more information out there. I'll just do my best to, you know, teach her how to be safe, online and safe while using these devices, just in general.

Laura Seney
What screen time activities does your daughter love the most?

Brittni Shenefield
Currently, she loves watching Peppa Pig and Bluey as well as just playing like talking Tom. And then she makes a house on this game called Taco Bell Goods for like Little Kids. It's like kind of similar to Sims, but for kids.

Laura Seney
It sounds adorable and like a lot of fun. What do you see your daughter gravitate towards when screens are off the table?

Brittni Shenefield
Usually when she doesn't have her screen time and if it's nice outside, she'll go out and play with, like, neighborhood kids in the yard. Or she'll build secret rooms around the house that I later have to clean up.

Laura Seney
That's awesome. It's great that she goes out and makes friends and makes her own imaginary worlds.

Brittni Shenefield
Yes.

Laura Seney
Do you think adults screen time affects kids like do the way you treat your screen time? Do you see that affect your daughter?

Brittni Shenefield
Yes, absolutely. I mean, I feel if your child sees you on your phone, in your device all day, that's what they're also going to want to do. So I do my best to try to limit my screen time until she goes to bed. And then when she goes to bed, I indulge in it.

Laura Seney
That makes sense. We all need our time on TikTok and Instagram for some doomscrolling or online shopping. Do you, as an adult, have screen time or technology boundaries set in place?

Brittni Shenefield
Yes, especially when it's like nicer out and we can be outside. Usually my phone stays on the counter in the evening until my daughter goes to bed. I always have, you know, some lazy evenings, but for the most part it sits on the counter until I can get my downtime.

Laura Seney
That makes sense. How do you handle differences of opinions around screen time with extended family or friends?

Brittni Shenefield
I thought this one was a great question. At my mother's, she has no locks on her devices and my daughter always gets on YouTube knowing she isn't allowed to at home. And I've just had to explain it to my mother and ask her to respect our boundaries. Plus, I showed her some examples on like why I don't want her to have free access to YouTube and some stuff that, like my daughter could easily access that she shouldn't be accessing. And like my mom says, like, oh, I'm watching her. Like I know what she's watching, but you don't, you know, you step away for a couple seconds and it's easy to flip to the next video or whatnot. So you just have to be very clear.

Laura Seney
Yeah, that can be difficult to explain to people, especially even with YouTube. Like sometimes it's not even the videos the kids are watching. It's the ads that pop up before or after the video. Because I know we've had YouTube up on our TV and our daughter is watching, you know, some Minecraft video for kids. But the ad that pops up after that video or in the middle of that video is not kid friendly.

Brittni Shenefield
Yes. Or they can click on it and it takes them to like Safari and then it just keeps going down and down and down.

Laura Seney
Yeah, exactly. So yeah, holding those boundaries and explaining that to people can be challenging. Do you have any other words of advice to parents as they make decisions around screen time and technology for their families?

Brittni Shenefield
Ultimately, you should just do what is best and most safe for your child. You obviously know your child better than anybody else, so if they're sneaky kid and it's easy for them to switch apps without you looking, maybe those, you know, screen time rules and boundaries or something that you need to put into place. But if it's not something they're interested in, then just do what's best for your kid.

Laura Seney
Makes sense. Thank you for joining us today, Brittany, and we hope you have a good rest of your day.

Brittni Shenefield
Thank you guys. Have a good day.

Laura Seney
If you are looking for a way to keep an eye on what your kids are doing online, try Kosciusko Connect's Guardian Protection. You can define periods of time your kids are allowed to use the internet, monitor the amount of time they use devices and block inappropriate content or websites. To sign up, contact our team at (574) 269-0327 or by emailing connect@kosciuskoconnect.com. You have been listening to Connected Conversations, the official podcast of Kosciusko Connect. From all of us at Kosciusko Connect, thank you for connecting with us today.